Nine patterns. One starting point: yourself.
Choose a numbered pattern to learn about adult self-awareness.
Each pattern is described below, in numeric order.
1 — Principles
Attention often goes to standards, improvement, and doing what feels right.
When I want to correct something, can I pause before I speak?
Read this as an invitation to observe yourself, not a verdict about anyone.
Wings
Wings are neighboring influences. For pattern 1, the neighbors are 9 and 2. Exploring them does not assign you a wing.
Growth arrow
In this traditional model, pattern 1 connects toward 7 in the growth direction. Read the linked pattern as another perspective for adult reflection.
Stress arrow
In this traditional model, pattern 1 connects toward 4 in the stress direction. This describes a reflection framework, not a prediction about you or a child.
2 — Connection
Attention often goes to helping, relationships, and feeling needed.
Am I offering help freely, or hoping it will make me feel needed?
Read this as an invitation to observe yourself, not a verdict about anyone.
Wings
Wings are neighboring influences. For pattern 2, the neighbors are 1 and 3. Exploring them does not assign you a wing.
Growth arrow
In this traditional model, pattern 2 connects toward 4 in the growth direction. Read the linked pattern as another perspective for adult reflection.
Stress arrow
In this traditional model, pattern 2 connects toward 8 in the stress direction. This describes a reflection framework, not a prediction about you or a child.
3 — Achievement
Attention often goes to goals, effectiveness, and how success is seen.
Can I separate my worth from what I accomplished today?
Read this as an invitation to observe yourself, not a verdict about anyone.
Wings
Wings are neighboring influences. For pattern 3, the neighbors are 2 and 4. Exploring them does not assign you a wing.
Growth arrow
In this traditional model, pattern 3 connects toward 6 in the growth direction. Read the linked pattern as another perspective for adult reflection.
Stress arrow
In this traditional model, pattern 3 connects toward 9 in the stress direction. This describes a reflection framework, not a prediction about you or a child.
4 — Identity
Attention often goes to meaning, emotional depth, and individual expression.
Can I notice this feeling without making it the whole story?
Read this as an invitation to observe yourself, not a verdict about anyone.
Wings
Wings are neighboring influences. For pattern 4, the neighbors are 3 and 5. Exploring them does not assign you a wing.
Growth arrow
In this traditional model, pattern 4 connects toward 1 in the growth direction. Read the linked pattern as another perspective for adult reflection.
Stress arrow
In this traditional model, pattern 4 connects toward 2 in the stress direction. This describes a reflection framework, not a prediction about you or a child.
5 — Understanding
Attention often goes to knowledge, privacy, and conserving energy.
What would help me stay present instead of retreating into analysis?
Read this as an invitation to observe yourself, not a verdict about anyone.
Wings
Wings are neighboring influences. For pattern 5, the neighbors are 4 and 6. Exploring them does not assign you a wing.
Growth arrow
In this traditional model, pattern 5 connects toward 8 in the growth direction. Read the linked pattern as another perspective for adult reflection.
Stress arrow
In this traditional model, pattern 5 connects toward 7 in the stress direction. This describes a reflection framework, not a prediction about you or a child.
6 — Security
Attention often goes to trust, preparedness, and uncertainty.
What do I know, and what am I imagining might happen?
Read this as an invitation to observe yourself, not a verdict about anyone.
Wings
Wings are neighboring influences. For pattern 6, the neighbors are 5 and 7. Exploring them does not assign you a wing.
Growth arrow
In this traditional model, pattern 6 connects toward 9 in the growth direction. Read the linked pattern as another perspective for adult reflection.
Stress arrow
In this traditional model, pattern 6 connects toward 3 in the stress direction. This describes a reflection framework, not a prediction about you or a child.
7 — Possibility
Attention often goes to options, enthusiasm, and new experiences.
Can I stay with this uncomfortable moment before moving on?
Read this as an invitation to observe yourself, not a verdict about anyone.
Wings
Wings are neighboring influences. For pattern 7, the neighbors are 6 and 8. Exploring them does not assign you a wing.
Growth arrow
In this traditional model, pattern 7 connects toward 5 in the growth direction. Read the linked pattern as another perspective for adult reflection.
Stress arrow
In this traditional model, pattern 7 connects toward 1 in the stress direction. This describes a reflection framework, not a prediction about you or a child.
8 — Agency
Attention often goes to strength, autonomy, and direct action.
Can I protect what matters while making room for another voice?
Read this as an invitation to observe yourself, not a verdict about anyone.
Wings
Wings are neighboring influences. For pattern 8, the neighbors are 7 and 9. Exploring them does not assign you a wing.
Growth arrow
In this traditional model, pattern 8 connects toward 2 in the growth direction. Read the linked pattern as another perspective for adult reflection.
Stress arrow
In this traditional model, pattern 8 connects toward 5 in the stress direction. This describes a reflection framework, not a prediction about you or a child.
9 — Harmony
Attention often goes to peace, accommodation, and easing conflict.
What do I want to say that I have been setting aside?
Read this as an invitation to observe yourself, not a verdict about anyone.
Wings
Wings are neighboring influences. For pattern 9, the neighbors are 8 and 1. Exploring them does not assign you a wing.
Growth arrow
In this traditional model, pattern 9 connects toward 3 in the growth direction. Read the linked pattern as another perspective for adult reflection.
Stress arrow
In this traditional model, pattern 9 connects toward 6 in the stress direction. This describes a reflection framework, not a prediction about you or a child.